Fictions

Seems to be...

2011-12-21T08:41:00.000-08:00

and it seems to be a river bed
and we two seem to be in love...

and we seem to be talking
and the talks seem to never end....

and the sun seems to have already went to sleep behind the endless green hallows
and the sun seems to have been listening to us all this while
and the birds seem to have gone to sleep in their dens quite a while ago...

The remaining part is HERE

Common (Cyber) Sense

2011-03-25T04:44:00.000-07:00

Any deal based on an outright lie will come back to haunt you...... and a complete narration a bit of research on the ongoing unrest in the middle east. I have to keep myself updated with the current affairs, its not that I have to chase any deadline! It comes naturally to me.

My eyes were itchy and I decided to give myself some relief with a glass of icy cold coffee. Yes cold coffee in winters! I know how to do it, step inside the kitchen and put together all the stuff, while pretending that you dont really acknowledge anyone else's presence. Mom unverbal nags must have started by now... You see, I know my mom will nag me, but I get a kick with a cold punch smouldering through me! Done.. I managed to do it by avoiding eye contact with mum and seeking today's newspaper.

Many NRIs from the gulf are coming back. I thinking about the India-Pakistan partition. Just a signature by Nehru and consent of Mahatma Gandi divided the country into two. And my ancestors who were well setteled were suppose to come to India. I always wanted to know how did it feel during partition, I wanted the first hand narration. But to my despair, I do not have anyone to sit with me on the terrace at night and talk about the partition. I have managed to get the information in bits and pieces. I google about the places of my ancestoral origin. Facebook connects me to people with similar interests and I had many virtual friends.

Prayag was one of them. We never missed chatting at least once a day, and I never wanted that day to end. He too seem to be too eager to chat with me, I felt like a teenaged girl madly in love with a rock star. He actually was a rock star, atleast fits into my defination of a rockstar. I knew that whenever he would confess his love to a girl, it would be under the moonlight, on a beach and he would compose a song and strum the guitar. I knew this much coz it had been really a lot of time, something like 6 months, approximately 178 days of chatting everyday, without fail.

I wanted to take this forward and decided to meet him. But no wonder, its only commonsense that one finds cons on the virtual world, its full of liars. Knowing that people lie online, I would be a fool to fall for him.

PS: I know those who are die heart believers in love would differ.. I am not :p

Fear

2011-02-22T23:49:00.000-08:00

I was walking on a calm road. However, it ought to be a busy one, as it is right besides a busy ringroad. But this one is calm, you dont get to hear the honking to rash bus drivers, its rare to spot a car or two. I am amongst the pedestrians who take resort to an evening walk everyday after work.

Do I actually come here for a walk? I often ask myself. I have a strange association with this place. During the day its all green, peaceful and lively. One can just sit around while missing college days! At night its mysterious. Is it really enigmatic or I make it that way? I make stories as I stand beneath a tree I detest looking up as I fear a child will be sitting on the branch and will wave at me. While walking in dark I feel a witch is riding on a broom stick chasing me.

I know I come here to face my fear! To affirm that I am a brave girl. Of late I have observed myself facing my fears and this makes me feel high about myself. Ironically I feel that I am just being silly, nothing of this sort happens! Perhaps I am in love with this place, my accomplice for happy and sad times. When I am happy I want to take a long walk and celebrate my happiness with the trees and birds around. When I am sad I want to find a secluded corner to cry.

Today was a strange day. I woke up in the morning with someone knocking on the door of my room on opening it no one was there. While commuting a women passed by my car and on my shouting at her she gave a wicked smile to me, as if she wasnt scared of being hit by my car. The liftman of the office building was a new guy who greeted me with a big smile, dressed like the doormans of five star hotels.

While this thought was crossing my mind, I saw a man coming towards me. He seem like a sensible gentelman in his early 40s. He sought me to guide him for the way to the ringroad. I was distracted from a self interrogation session. This is meant to be my me-time, I dont even take my mobile calls during this time. Irritated, I politely responded to his query to guide him a way to the ringroad. He seem confused and requested me to accompany him till the turn where it would be easier for me to help him locate the way.

Unwantingly walking towards the other end of the road with a stranger. I thought to start interacting with him. I have always been apprehensive about sharing my thoughts and vulnerability with someone known, as it would give them a means to for them to be judgemental. For the world, I am an introvert.

The gentelman introduced himself, I am Dr. Khocchar, I am a management professor at Havard Business School. For a moment I was taken aback. HBS, well this is amongst the best b-schools in the world, rather the top most school. Ohh, I am Maanvi, I work as a researcher with Mc Kinsey!

I like this place, greenery and peace despite being a part of the national capital, he said.

Is it the first time you have come here? I asked.

He replied , Yes, I was suppose to visit FMS, its good to come back to your country.

Mhmmm, I murmered.

This being a campus area, I have been noticing a lot of billboards aimed at sensitising the youngsters about STDs, HIV, fighting eve teasers, and what not.... Is it actually safe? I have been reading quite a few things on Delhi being unsafe.

Yes its safe! I was bedazed by his question. At least I have never noticed anything supernatural and I dont even want to, I thought.

Ohkkk... he seemingly was preturbed by my being stunned. Well its ought to be safe, I have seen police around, he was trying to get be back at ease.

I smiled at him and decided to share my vulnerability. I said actually you asking me this question took me off my senses. I took your question to a completely different connotation. I told him that I find this place unsafe and fear facing supernatural powers, but I still come here. He heard me with patience.

So you face your fear.. Thats amazing, not many people can do it. I must say that you are a brave girl, this made me feel as it I am a kid and someone is telling me that I am the best! I just could not stop now, I started narrating all the instances and philosophies that I have about life and my fear. It was the time that we reached the corner of the road where we were suppose to part ways. He said that he would have loved to spend time with me, a brave girl!

Situation 1: He asked could we sit for some time together and talk about it. We sat roadside and discussed my philosophies with him. He was an amazing human being and I was no more an introvert. After an hour, he had to leave, we shared visiting cards and stayed in touch. He was someone who will remain unknown to me, but I have managed to have a pal to share my vulnerability with, without the fear of being judged.

Situation 2: Now however he had to leave as he had a to rush. Can we meet sometime in future, he asked while we exchanged cards. He promised to meet tomorrow and then vanished instantly in the air. He was a spirit... I was dead scared.

Situation 3: For today its not possible, I have to head for home. I notices a vendor staring at us. Can we meet tomorrow? He asked. Yes we can I said and we shook hands. We took our ways and looked back to pass the last glance for the day. He was not there. He perhaps vanished. I asked a vendor, where is the gentelman? He replied who gentelman. I have been noticing you talking to yourself. I was not scared, he perhaps we a ghost or an illusion. I plan to met him tomorrow. I know I am brave.

Author's Note: Which is the best situation of all... Please give your preference.

Love at first sight

2010-12-17T03:25:00.000-08:00

Do you believe it? Some agree that it happens and some don't. Something that clicks. Something that tell you that this is what you have always been wanting! Love at first sight....

Well love at first sight is something that I will be able to discus once I fall in love. The singlehood that I have been relishing is compelling me to define what love at first sight would be? Anyways follow this instance and help me to come to a conclusion!

Prachi was discussing about what she would want her partner to be with Pia. Well for me the first impression matter, but looks.. naaah!. I will prefer intelligence over looks, sensibility over shrued, acquaintance over stranger.

So you will never fall for a stranger?, interrogated Pia.

No, never! you never know what that stranger would be, Prachi uttered with a dramatised tone. Moreover what if the guy pretended to be what he is.

Pretention, that is a different thing, people do pretent and betray.. Pia said.

But think about it, knowing each other! hmm, well do not you find it amazing when two complete strangers meet and fall in love. You never know what it would be for, weather you fall for looks, or the way he talks, for his sensibilities, or just a gesture that wanted you to meet him again. Familiarity brings monotony in life, I always feel that a stranger element should always exist! You learn something new about the other person everyday, that may all the more, make you fall in love with him. This will be love at each of sight of a new him, that one will fall in love for.

Prachi was still not convinced, but Pia wanted to meet that a sensible guy, who would take her away to secret place! But the question remains.. Does love at first sight happen?

Author's Note: Love is when you risk everything for just one person. Is love at first sight something true? Or are such people carrying their heart in hands?

Caged!

2010-09-19T23:25:00.000-07:00

I look out through strands of steel.

I fail to chase the beaming streams.

I am trapped without hope and zeal.

I am caged and want to break free!

My wings get torned when I flutter them.

My beak gets hurt when I eat from the golden bin.

My eyes cannot see beyond concrete screen.

My cage is where I live and dream.

I want to fly up high.

Reaching for the streams and endless skies.

I wish to swap my wing to great highs.

And reside on the branches of green serene.

Author's Note: I am against caging of living beings, not just birds, eve fish are miserable inside an aquarium. Its not just the fact that theyare trapped, but each time they reach at the glas walls of the aquarium, they cannot see the glass wall, and get banged on to it. Lets not treat them are decorative pieces. Let each being be freaa as a flowing stream. Let us pledge to not and never to cage a being.

When I would be in love with you!

2010-09-14T04:26:00.000-07:00

When I would be in love with you!
It would be just you and its true
Your smile will be with me and you
Each day will be swayed with fun and hue...

When I would be in love with you!
All the hunks will wither to the zoo.
You would be my prince charming, a knight in shining armour.
Taking my hand for a rain dance spree.

When I would be in love with you!
We will go on long drives on a highway next to the sea.
We will sit on the wooden bench, looking at the moon till the wee.
Hazing out our dreams and what we should be!

When I would be in love with you!
We will dive in the endless streams.
Streer away up in the pitch.
Ski our way on the slippery deke .

When I would be in love with you!
We will walk on unknown passages.
Board the bikes with a high speed.
It would be just you and its true!

Author's Note: Please share how does it feel to be in love?? or that one word that defines love, for me its 'Dance'~~

Crush!

2010-08-02T04:09:00.000-07:00

More often than never in search of that perfect one, we fall for wrong choices. Some are purely infatuation, some one sided love stories and some are feelings that cannot be defined as just friendship!

This was a crush for sure! I happen to meet him at a college get together. First look and that sly smile reaffirmed that he is the one for me. I could recall that college romances are fun and full of excitement. Waiting to catch a glimpse of him in the crowded corridor. Staying back till late in college with a thought that he may ask me out again. Well this was not a college romance. I am a professionals who has just struck 26! All the aunts and uncles come home with the prospects of suitable match. But no one quite have those factors that I get me down on my knees and ask him out!

Asking him out! Yes I mean it, I believe that if I can find a guy who fits in the parameters of "my man", then I will not shy away in taking the plunge and ask him out. Whats the harm in it? Atleast I will not live with a regret for life that I never ever told him that I liked him.

Well back to present! I am at this college get together and getting to meet a lot of college mates! Though I did not even know his name, I was already feeling jealous with the female attention he was getting in the auditorium. Thankfully I located a college senior, Arnav who seem to be in good terms with this guy. I made sure to talk to the senior and try getting hold of this guy's identity.

Me: Hey Arnav

Arnav: Hey

Me: How have you been?

Arnav: I have been good. What about you?

Me: I have been good too! So what are you doing these days?

Arnav: I am in the family business. What are you doing?

Me: I am a freelance documentary filmmaker. Well that reminds me that I am doing a project on family businesses. Would you be interested in a chat over the topic sometime next week?

Arnav: Sure

Me: And who is that Guy with a sly smile?

Arnav: Well he gets all the female attention where ever he goes!

Me (uncomfortably) : No, its just that I thought that he can feature in some of the projects. He has those photogenic looks! Sigh

Arnav: Oh, well in that case I can introduce you to him. But just for courtesy sake, don't fall for him. He is not into girls!

Author's Note: All nice men are either taken or gay!

Suicidal!

2010-01-05T01:49:00.000-08:00

It took me a while to recollect dialing for ambulance. Dial 100! No that’s police... 107! Fire brigade. For ambulance its 102... I think so... yes. But damn no one is picking it up! I moved out of the room looking for the warden, each step left blood marks on the floor. I wanted to locate the warden. I just did not know how to reach; this was the first time when I felt so confused. My mate attempted suicide, and I had not one around to help me. Most of the girls went home during diwali, and we were the unfortunate ones, to be stuck on work. Me and Prachi work in the same office and are the best of friends! Not being able to locate anyone to help, I controlled my trembling hands and dialled eight times two. The service got me connected to ambulance service of a private hospital. The ambulance reached within 15 minutes, and we got her inside the cab. Now I am waiting for the doctors to update me about her status...

Author's Note: This is again a story with an open ended ending!

Incidental meeting!

2009-12-10T03:48:00.000-08:00

My eyes were struck at the jacket displayed on a road-side shop. Considering the advent of winters, I really needed one! Making my way through a cluttered street, I was marching towards the shop. The task should be termed 'herculean', as on a Sunday evening, most of the people move out of their couch to vouch for shop-ables! In this backdrop, shopping turn into an achievement. Many voices were doing the rounds around me, but I did not bother as non of them sounded familiar to me. However I could make out someone coming towards me knows me. His style of walking, said it all. I noticed it even when my eyes were struck on the jacket, and the board which read 'For Sale'. He is an old friend, trying to convey that he is passing by, before saying a charming Hi!

Author's Note: Familiarity, is what I describe the incidental meeting in the story. The character struck on her shopping object.

Murphy;s Law

2009-11-13T02:24:00.000-08:00

Murphy's law states that, 'If anything can go wrong, it will'. Thus the statement applies to the law itself. So we are taking the highway, it doesn’t really matter that the tyre will go flat, or the car breaks down or the murphy's law is proclaimed invalid!

It will be cluttered, you see, its getting dark and all the big wagons will take the highway, he said with a blushing tone, trying to avoid a long drive on the highway.

I started staring outside, unfazed with the very logical excuses, expecting that he will take the way as I suggested.

Author's Note: Random post!

Nostalgia

2009-10-14T03:37:00.000-07:00

Lying on bed, its time to sleep! I think of past, when smile reaches my lip! Sadness evades when I go to the crazy things we did. Adrenalin rush in when we took bike rides reading 120 kmph. Now the days are gone, and nights are blue, everyday before going to bed, I think of you!

Author's Note: Tried my hand at Fiction 55

Flash part - V (final)

2009-09-30T05:05:00.000-07:00

This is the final part of the Flash sequel!

Do read the initial parts here: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV..

Listening to something can never be as devastating as experiencing the same. For us the number years that we could have been together, passes like a trauma and feeling of helplessness for both of us. I could feel the pain and dismay he witnessed, as I was a part of him!

I decided to take him to a therapist, though he sounded reluctatn, hopeless, helpless etc. The decision turned out in our favour. Today we are together, taking those seven years as a bitter reality of this world. He has started following his passion, and his art pieces are renowned globally. I work with him for the marketing of his paintings and art pieces.

We have two kids and a happy family. We urge everyone to live life to the fullest and dont breakdown when standing in a difficult situation.

Author's Note: Great that I finally posted the last part of the sequel. Many friends wanted me to end it in a fashionable way. Hope I did it as per their expectations!

Crossed Fingers

2009-09-16T00:03:00.000-07:00

I read my personal diary, which was written long back, some 5-6 years back, and was stuck on this quote,

You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

And many more inspirational stuff written randomly, while watching TV, surfing the net, in a bus, sitting in the college canteen. Today things are not the same. The diary was full of incidents that I shared with my beloved. But now things are not the same, rather I am not the same. I have just grown into a tough corporate professional. I still keep my fingers crossed to not encounter any unpleasant indcident. He made me hate love. I dont feel the need for being loved.

I just wanted to tell him how much I still need him, but unfortunately he was a wrong choice, just wanted to convey that,

When you lied, I still believed you coz you could never be wrong
When you broke my heart, it was your, you did..
I still have mine !!!

She joted this in her personal diary, and went off to sleep, with crossed fingers!

Author's Note: This is a random verse written with no planning.

Flash - Part IV

2009-08-17T03:49:00.001-07:00

For those of you who have not followed the Flash series, please read Flash Part I, Part II and part III.

The Man

The only question on my mind was, why is he so careless. Why did he not do anything when the lady was alive. We could have saved her. I felt guilty. I felt that I killed the lady. The feeling was just absurd. When I looked back at it, I was not to be held guilty. I don't know who was guilty, may be the weather which took the plane into sea, or destiny. The condition that I was in, was guilty. I was living with no gadgets, no communication device, no entertainment tele series. Just me, an island and a sea.

The man came to me a bit distressed, that girl died. Her body is lying next to the scavengers.

I did not reply. The man was really distressed. Seemed he was high on anxiety.

He again stated those words in a louder tone. Ooh right, the man replied! You wanted to help her out. Is this how u help people. You killed her!

My eyes were just stuck on the man. He blamed me, for something I was grossly trying to console myself for. The man said further that, u will kill me as well.

The place was cursed. I was fearing that the man will also run inside the sea. He will also do what that lady did. I was just standing and thinking how do I correct things. How do I tell him that I did not do anything. How do I narrate what happened. his words were echoing across the island. I just did not want him to run away from my sight. He kept yelling and yelling till he got tired, and sat close by.

I was thankful that he did not go away. I was happy that he stayed around, rather than me chasing him. He knew that we both need each other's company. For the next few days he did not talk to me, did not eat anything that I offered to him. Thank full he stayed around me. Now I had problems in recollecting how many months have passed. As everyday looked the same. The man also started talking to me. I am sure that he knew that I did not kill the lady. It was pure fate.

Could you help me break this coconut, questioned the man.

Yes sure, replied me.

The man was growing old. He was weak too. I kept praying that someone locate us ASAP, as I did not want anything to happen to the man. He often coughed for long but I did not realise that he was suffering from Asthma. He would walk restlessly, trying to catch his breath. I often apprehended his health. But could not do anything about it really.

One day he did not get up. I could see worms picking pieces of his body and vultures rolling up in the sky. I was numb. I shaked him. He did not reply. He was out of breath, his heart was silent. He was a dead body!

I ran to the other corner of the sea, and wanted to kill myself. It seem worthless for me to stay alone in the island. The sea waves haunted me everyday. The noises were deceptive, as if two many people are talking, guiding me to stay fit, sending signals that you are waiting for me. I resolved that I have to be with you before making my move from this world.

Author's Note: This was suppose to be the final part.. But my readers are not happy with this ending. So I am likely to carry this forth and come up with further sequels.Thanks for motivating me to write further :-)

PS: This is not the final part.

Flash - part III

2009-08-10T22:49:00.001-07:00

For those of you who have not followed the Flash series, please read Flash Part I and Part II.

This one narrates the state of mind of Gyan, a man stuck on an Island for seven years. Heres the narration by Gyan about staying in the Island:

I felt hopeless for not been able to communicate with anyone. There were two people with me and I saw them dieing right in front of me, talking insane and crying for help! I went through the experience while I was horrified at the plight of others.

Rescue crew was visible and passed by us. Days passed by and no sight of man except the three of us, a lady in mid 30s, a man in his 50s and me, youngest of them . I witnessed strange narrations of emotional behavior, extremes of mood etc....

We did not know each other's names. I address them as mam and sir, nobody bothered to. It was already shocking to realize that you have fallen from some km height, into the endless waters. We survived on the strangest of food, sea water, coconut water. fish and prawns, crabs and even algae.

The Lady:

Around four weeks passed by. We kept seeing helecopters crossing over our heads. We all waves and shouted for help. We were surely not audible to them. The lady amongst us started talking utter non sense. She would say the I am getting Pizza, would you like to have some. She would keep insisting and on realising that we both are not interested she would says, alrite if you two dont want a pizza, why should I get it for me only. Let me call up the Dominos home delivery number. She went off looking for a domino's flyer. We knew that she is mentally very upset and has been talking some non comprehend-able stuff.

I tried talking to the man and said sir, can't we do something about her. She has been talking non-sense. I pity her.

He replied, no. We cannot! passed a forced smile and turned his face away.

I decided to keep quite too, as I knew that we were helpless. The situation was not in our control.

After around some two days I saw the lady lying on a tree branch, not in her conscious state of being. She looked horrible. I tried calling her, she said in a mild tone, did you find a domino's flyer?

The question killed me. I said No to her. requested her to come down. I managed to get her down from the tree and took her to a safer corner.

She ate whatever I gave her and slept. I sat awake next to her, and fell asleep, siding by a rock. Thus i was sleeping while sitting. At around dark in night I heard the women screaming and running towards the sea, there is a donimos flyer. she ran and I ran after her. She drowned and was not visible to be. I was scared.

Author's Note: Thanks all my dearest friends for waiting, I will soon come up with the remaining part of Flash, a perspective of 'The Man'. Keep reading!

Flash - part II

2009-07-30T03:28:00.002-07:00

NOTE: Before reading this please read the first part of this sequel at Flash - part I

They say do not speak you fears aloud, that they may come true!

I thank god that I did not. He was back and I was not dreaming. We settle inside our house, I looked up to him with unfathomable number of queries. I just wanted to know where he has been for so long. He was tired grown a bit old. The glow on his face was missing. But his eyes were stuck on me, as if he wants to realize that it is not a dream. I too wanted to shout at the top of my voice and make the world listen that he is back, he is alive and he is still in love with me. He went ahead saying your love helped me survive. Said that he wanted to live in a state of grungy just to get back to me and thank for being the most wonderful person.

He then started to narrate the episode which brought shivers down my spine. He said, I was at the cross-roads of endless nowhere. As I gained my conscious I was lying on a rock surrounded with beautiful sea. As I lifted my face I saw huge stream of water ready to engulf me. I braved it and got up. Behind me was a beautiful sight. At the outset I thought that I was in a beach. All I could recall about the plane crashing episode was shouts of people and how I reached this place was beyond my sense of comprehension.

He said that he lived in inhumane conditions, and never thought that he will ever be able to come out of the island. He suffered and survived on fish, plants and coconut water, reinvented fire and cooked food for so many years. He was rescued after 7 years when a contractor visited the island. I wonder how the rescue operation missed him when the Island was a mere 3 km from the spot of accident!

Author's Note: I plan to write more such sequels. Hope this turns out well. Flash is first such venture. Hope you all enjoy reading it.

Flash - part I

2009-07-30T03:28:00.001-07:00

It was a dark night when I realized that I am not asleep yet! Digging into the mobile phone kept next to the pillow, I realized that its 3:19 by the clock. The sky was all mysterious with frequent lightening advising that water may pour anytime. Knowing that I am not going to fall asleep anytime soon, I decided to walk to the terrace. Ironically the advent of spring saddened me.

I still get petrified when I recall the mysterious night few years back when a flicker ran on TV, “Plane with 183 on board crashes in Indian Ocean”. Gyan was amongst the passengers and all were believed to be dead.

I made frequent rounds of the concerned officials to find a ray of hope, to know if he is alive. Seven years have passed and I have received a letter to undertake the formalities associated with his insurance claim.

From terrace I saw a shadow surfacing on the street, without sensing who the person is, I ran down to the door. By the time I opened the door, it started raining heavily. I stepped on the street and he was right in front. The lightening on the sky rejoiced with the homecoming of Gyan. He is alive. We hugged each other and cried out for not being together for so long.

Author's Note: Don't loose hope be it love or life! Please read

Flash - part II.

Phissing!

2009-06-24T03:14:00.000-07:00

I sat leisurely on green grass, supported by a tree next to a pond with the hat resting on my face. My jeep was parked close by and I was a bit hungry too, but I preferred being patient to capture one of the most soothing moments. Twittering of birds, cool puff of air and a vast blue sky wrapped across the green trees spoke ineffable.

While I was enjoying the experience, the rod made a brief shift, signalling that fish has been captured. Not intending to kill the fish, I carefully took it out and clicked a picture of the triumph! The beauty of this moment will remain with me forever in the form of a clip. I felt more accomplished, when I released the fish back into the lake.To mark the revelery of this accomplishment, I lay wondering small deeds can be extremly rewarding.

Author’s Note: Letting free is more accomplishing than holding on!

Runaway Bride

2009-06-15T00:32:00.000-07:00

Version 1: I jumped out of the window and sped my car to the maximum limits! I did not want to go back as I was not ready for it. I could hear the music and revelry outside, but I was not willing to tie a knot. Its not that he is not a nice man, but my understanding of a life-partner does not see him as a prospect. I argued with my parents, but they did not listen. They often introspect, if I am going around with someone. I am single and free!

Version 2: Getting the make-up done was tough as I had streams of tears rolling down my cheeks. I had always dreamt of marrying but not the one who was groomed for me today. I wanted to elope with my boy friend but he was a bit apprehensive about it. I felt as if I am forced into it. The make-up was done and I was taking the steps down to the road where noticed him waving at me, I ran to him and we sped away. I am happy today!

Version 3: He said, you can go if you love some one else. I looked up, smiled and ran out on the boundless road. I felt relieved. I had to stand up for my love and I could find it inevitable today. I head to the railway station where my love is waiting for me!

Author's Note: The idea stuck me after watching Vipul Shah's, Namaste London. The idea of bride running away during the wedding really facinates me!

Kind encounter

2009-05-14T04:00:00.000-07:00

Though she had an umbrella but the strong wind can fly it away, lightening and rain refused to stop. She doesn’t have any problem walking in the rain, but decided to stand under a shed. Two gentlemen in 50s were standing besides her discussing bearish stock markets and recession. Some beggars also sat conveniently under the shelter.

She: I noticed a guy walking pass by me; a question crossed my mind: Do I know him? He seems familiar, but I had not known him. The moment his eyes met mine, I uttered, ‘why don’t you come in the shed’. He stood next to me. It rained for a good half an hour, but none of us took forth the conversation. I was embarrassed by my reaction, and was wondering how on earth it bothers me if any tom, dick or harry is getting wet in the rain. Anyways we left the shed when it stopped raining. Out of awkwardness, I did not look at him and don’t know if he too wanted to say bye.

He: I was walking towards the park and was disgusted by invariable marriage applications by my parents. A girl stopped me near a shed; she wanted me to stay as I was getting wet in the rain. We stood together for a good 30 minutes but she did not speak to me. I wanted to ask her, what on earth makes her concerned for me when I was soaking my anguish in the rain. I hunted for an answer but she did not look up to me.

A week later in a restaurant

She: I was checking out the crowd; I noticed him. He was with a girl, cutting cake. His sight encountered mine and a kind smile came to me.

He: My parents have agreed to get me married to my childhood love; we were celebrating at a restaurant while I spotted her. All I could do was to pass a smile.

Idea of Life

2009-05-13T23:51:00.001-07:00

The convocation ceremony, officially the last day of my MBA education, witnessed a few wet eyes and some looking forth to life!

During the two year course, I learnt that people do MBA for three apparent reasons; first they want to earn truckloads of money, remember last year ISB pass-outs fetch package worth some crore, and IIMites are on entrepreneurial spree. FMS is also catching up fast with the best of industrial personnel requirements!

Second, they want to project themselves as a favorable spouse. I recall many relatives fantasizing wedding of Uncle Sharma’s son and Mr. Arora’s daughter. During their conversation, they discuss n-number of such match makings! According to them, the guy is a real catch, as he earns a six figure salary, takes on frequent foreign trips and owns a bungalow in posh area. The girl too earns a decent amount with her job with an upcoming IT firm. Personally, I doubt they will ever get along and beside it sounds too monotonous to me!

Last reason is the worth a pity, I can relate a few of my friends to it, when they say; I never wanted to do MBA. I feel sick to study financial management, organizational behavior, and retail sector! Further introspection reveals that their parents got them to do MBA, while they have exceptional skills in art, music, and wanted to pursue career in films, theater, direction etc! Their parents believe that the success rate in these professions is low and an MBA degree can take them places.

Now me, I did my MBA coz, hmm! Its my idea of life!

I am yet to find a convincing answer to it, for the time being the reason is, ‘I wanted to show off a good degree’. I am not placed anywhere yet, and who wants to work, I would rather prefer taking stroll at Corbet National Park, than to sit at office. Almost all my batch mates are enthusiastically looking forth to their professional life and I will collaborate with my brother at his travel agency. Travelling can be my companion forever; it is the only venture I truly love. I love to dig into some gorgeous exotic cuisine, visit heritage sites, learn about different cultures, stay at five star resorts facing the sea or take a camping expedition at hills.

I shouted from my room, Mom! Don’t pack lunch for us, Piya, Bhaiya and I will go out for the welcome feast! Piya is my brother’s girl friend. She worked as a manager near our office and always had lunch with Bhaiya. My dad was busy listening to NDTV, the loud volume reaches my room and keeps me updated with current affairs. The news said some politician delivered a communal speech; which is a daily affair. This has led to debated on secular constitutional framework of India and the situation may lead to riots. Anyways its easier to mislead illiterate, unemployed and unengaged public, that’s what politics is meant for. Besides the anchor had the script prepared for dowry cases, extortion, gang rape, abductions, etc.

Ohh great I too did not want to get into the kitchen today, said my mom, while walking towards me carrying the good luck expressions. It is my first day at work, and I am excited about it. Mom gave the daily bye-bye kiss to me and my brother and we rushed up for office. On reaching I realized that a separate cabin has been nurtured to suit my classic taste. The wall on my right had scenery that incarcerated my gaze! Piya stepped in with a bouquet and a gift, and said, during the past three months Abhay and me shopped hard for the interiors, well we hope you like it.

I just love it! I doubt I would have had such a grand welcome at some MNC. My comment made everyone blast out with laugh! We headed for the decided lunch and Bhaiya’s friend Karan joined us too. He owns an NGO on rural upliftment. However, NGO for rural lot sounds a bit downgraded business, but this fellow was big time into foreign trips, overseas clientele and carries a royal style.

‘How is the progress on Spanish client, did they agree for the agro deal?’, Bhaiya asked Karan.

Karan Replied, yeah it is kind of being finalized, they are seeking some travel consulting for India, you do meet up with them. The delegates will be coming to my office tomorrow, why do not you join in. ‘Sure, I will come with Vidhi’, Bhaiya said.

The next day I was eager for the meeting. Bhaiya dropped me at office and promised to pick me for meeting by 12. He had to attend some important meeting. As planned he came to pick me for Karan’s office.

The meeting went well and I admired the dynamism with which my brother and Karan cracked the deal. While we will be taking care of the delegate’s travel and accommodation in India, Karan & Co. will proceed with some exports related formalities. Some 25 delegates will be visiting India in two weeks and will be taken to farms across Uttar Pradesh and Punjab.

My real work started now! We are supposed to travel with the delegates and ensure all the booking arrangements. We booked a Volvo bus, which would be comfortable for the visitors. Intelligence inputs from my two associates viz; Karan and Bhaiya, ensured no room for mistake from my side.

After a week the test of my effort came head on! The delegation arrived and was provided accommodation in Le Meridian hotel. While interacting with the delegates, I was wondering that their perception of India as a poor nation would have vanished by now. We had the best of hotels, big roads, though congested with traffic and global automobile brands squealing through the roads.

We decided to take an early morning departure from Delhi to Pilbhit to understand sugarcane production and prospects for exports, delegation boarded the Volvo on time and we headed for the destination! It was a 300 km long journey.

The early morning view was truly scenic and reflected on a calm and simple village life. Shepherds taking fleet of cattle to the nearby pond, some digging into silage, farmers ploughing the land, women loaded with pot full of water were commonplace.

The tourists were also enjoying the way, they were interacting in Spanish and I too learned a few word while sharing cultural insight with them. Karan could speak fluent Spanish. I would have personally loved to have a discussion or two with Karan, but sadly he was too busy interacting with only the top delegate may be to keep him engrossed in the deal.

We reached Lucknow, and were about 50 km away from Pilbhit, when we were told to stop as some riots broke at Pilbhit, due to some politician’s hate speech. I was really upset as all the planning put into the deal would go hay-wire!

We thought of taking them to some sightseeing expedition, but that too was not possible due to a curfew imposed in the area. Police said that riots were possible anytime and we should stay at some safe place. The idea of going back also did not sound ulterior and the delegates were clueless about the non-planned stopping. Bhaiya tried to make them understand the issue and decided to head Hotel Sagar International.

After locating a police patrol team, we thought that the way would be safe! The entire passage was a no man’s land. Half a kilometer away from the round-about was a mad mob. Screeching through slums, causing violence, and burning whatever was combustible. Bunches of black smoke surfaced every here and there were clearly visible. Some broken carts were lying close to the pavement.

Furry of mob was coming towards the bus, and the driver was smart enough to speed it up. A few fire-lit glass bottles with inflammable material were aimed at our bus and one came right on the roof. They chased our bus and had no respect to maintain order in the state. I wondered how my parents would have felt during the anti-sikh riots in 1984 when they were stuck in a similar unrest.

The questions on the faces of the delegates were beyond comprehension. Bus was on a speed of 100 km/per hour and the roof top was burning, it was out of pan in the fire like situation. Karan was right at the driver’s cabin and Bhaiya was standing close to the door. I preferred to be near Bhaiya, when another glass bottle came rolling on the left side of the bus, this was aimed a little close to Bhaiya. While Karan shouted, Abhay move away from the broken window, which broke due to pressure and heat build on the glass surface.

The mob was still chasing us from every corner; some people were joining from adjacent farms, throwing stones, of all shapes and sizes at us. When Bhaiya was moving away from the broken window, a stone hit his head. He sat bleeding, while I was horrified. I tried to pull him away from the window, but he was in pain and was unable to move away. I was numb and tears rolled from my eyes, above that I was horror-struck with the thought of having flat tyre. As the glass windows were closed a layer of smoke started to build up inside the bus.

Luckily a fire-fighter escorted by police jeep was rushing for the slums, where they caught sight of our condition. We were saved, but Bhaiya was critical! The mob disappeared, thanks to the tear gas bulb. Since we had foreigners with us, the cops preferred to take them to the police station, and the fire brigade was directed to the slums. And Karan and I rushed to the hospital with Bhaiya, his bandage and first-aid was done and we had to rush back to Delhi for his check-ups.

The scene at the police station appeared dismaying. I saw some kids aged between 5-10 years old were accused of spreading riots. This was an utterly shameful experience, where neither the mob was concerned about the presence of cops nor police about the ongoing genocide.

We were provided police protection till we reached safely to Delhi. The next day’s headlines translated into, “Politician build anguish in UP, inter-communal riots killed 120 including 57 kids, Spanish delegates saved!”

While we missed the Spanish deal, I learned a first hand account of the conditions of people living outside metropolitan. The Spanish, who had all doubts about their well being at the time of mob encounter, departed and issued media statement making a mockery of India’s notorious communal disharmony.

It took one month to get Bhaiya in right shape. While Piya visited Bhaiya at hospital everyday, I and Karan started catching up for lunch. He has been around all through this while, helping me do my official tasks, and proffer emotional solace.

On the hindsight I wish that the politicians and similar figures behave sensibly, for humanity’s sake. Politicians are meant to serve the people and not direct an army of mass murderers. I want to do something which ensures no similar riot will happen in future. For the time being it’s a vintage car-rally across UP, with like minded people to sensitize the local people! I found my Idea of life, which is to work for the people, and want to enlighten them. I hope we succeed!

Please share your feedback.

Intoxication

2009-04-30T03:51:00.001-07:00

I kept craving for it and always wanted a dope to start my day.

Today I am out of my stock, as yester-night while my way back home under the affect of alcohol I dropped my bag. So I do not have cash and have to get my credit and debit cards blocked too! But that will come only after my daily dope, fags are no more effective! I am chocked. The Nigerian peddler, John is not taking my calls. All I can think of is to head to John’s place; I know he keeps all his stock in the second drawer of cupboard. I badly need a dope!

I wanted drugs every waking hour of day. I started doing drugs when my ex-boyfriend Akhil left me for someone else . He tagged my being possessive as schizophrenic mental disorder. While he dumped me, I found taking solace in the world of intoxication relieving and soothing. It best suited me, doing drugs made me feel normal and helped stop getting to past memories. I understood that drugs can be my partners for life. They make me feel good! Ensures that life is wonderful. I can be myself after doing it, as often I shout on the middle of a road at the top of my voice!

I reached John’s place to find the door locked. No one was inside and my craving did not stop me to try a hairpin which successfully opened the door. The dope stock was kept exactly where I thought it should be. I sniffed a dope and the stock was sufficient for a fortnight. Later I called up the banks to get my cards blocked, but someone had made purchase worth 75,000 from my credit card, thankfully my debit card was left untouched. I got those blocked and called up the police to report the theft transaction.

My untimely office hours were routine and I could not work without liquor. I have the liberty of doing fag, booze and drugs at my small cabin. Thankfully no one questions your habits at production houses! I saw John waiting near my house. I avoided him, but he followed asking for money and shouted, you stole the dope and if you don’t pay me you better know what I will do, he too was under the affect of drugs.

John, I tried calling you, but you did not take my call. I was running short of my stock and all what I could think of was to visit your place. I will pay you the money only when I get my debit card. You know it was stolen yesterday. So give me sometime. And I entered my house. He kept following and said don’t lie you b****. You know I cannot report this theft to anyone and you better pay me my Rs. 25k now!

I said, calm down John, I told you I don’t have money and don't make illegitimate demands as the stuff was worth 5K only. He started getting cheap and tried imposing him on me. I pushed him off but he was getting uncontrollable. All I could to was to smash his head with the vase kept next to my bed. The moment I banged it, he fell unconscious. I sat there expecting that he will be fine, and soon I realized blood started pouring out of his nose. I was scared, the idea of taking him to hospital seem impossible and I could not call anyone for help.

The door bell rang, who’s that I asked and the reply was it’s the Police!

I thought that the neighbors might have called up the police as John was shouting at me. Or may be its related to my lost bag. But anyways I cannot let them in. I will be arrested. What do I do? All I could think of was running away from the back door.

I straightway headed to my car and drove out fast. The fuel came to a halt at secluded area near Delhi Cantonment and was wondering that I just killed someone. Had I not been under the affect of drugs, I would have been better, but drugs induces happiness, otherwise life is bad without Akhil. I don’t have money and I cannot go back to my place.

Two guys in a bullet crossed by me, as they saw me inside the car, they made a turn towards me. I tried starting start my car to avoid encountering strangers at 2 am, but my car was out of fuel. The person driving the bike was in black t-shirt and military cargo, said do you need any help? I was shivering with fear, and my temperature was rising I said in a trembling voice, no thanks! I felt breathless and I wanted water plus the dope…… The guys were making a move when I called them, hey well I need some water. The other guy in basic blue denim and yellow t-shirt handed over water to me. But before I could hold it, everything blacked out and I fainted.

I wake up to know that I was hospitalized. The wall-clock read 7am, the guys were sitting on the sofa arranged perfectly in the room. A nurse came, changed the glucose bottle attached to the drip, and kept some medicines for me, while saying don't take these empty stomach. Have some food first and then pop them in.

I looked at the guys and asked why I am here? You fainted out of anxiety and you were high on drugs too! So we took you here. It’s a private hospital and hopefully you not face police problem. We could not locate your phone or anything in the car to contact your family, so please call them up (pointing at the phone next to the bed) or should we do it for you?

My instant reaction was, 'well I live alone'. I did not want to get my family involved in it.

The guy in yellow t-shirt got irritated and said, we have been with you for the past 5 hours; at least tell us who do we inform. The other one in black T-shirt gestured at him to keep quite. I tried taking the drip out of my arm. The guy in black t-shirt tried to stop me, while saying hey everything will be fine; you can share the problem with us.'

The other guy uttered, 'Shreyas you try and understand the matter, I am leaving! Call me whenever you intend to be out of this trouble' and he stepped out.

But I was not comfortable sharing anything with him.

The doctor stepped in and uttered a diagnostics saying, you have been big time into drugs! This can eat you up from inside. As I was uninterested, he looked at Shreyas, and carried on with his worldly talks, she may have to be admitted at a rehabilitation center. For the time being you can take her home and make sure she takes proper rest. It was like that the doctor did not know that we were strangers.

He wrapped up the stuff, smiled and should we go, or do you plan to stay here? I got up and followed him to his car. He asked where should he drop me, and I kept quite. He again made an attempt to strike a conversation by saying your car is parked at that place only, but it’s out of fuel!

I started shivering of fear and started crying! He insisted to know the problem and I poured the entire John episode. He kept calm and convinced me to file a police compliant. Shreyas and me went to the police station, where I learned that John was already under police custody. He was a notorious drug peddler and police was after him. The inspector informed that they came to my place the last night to arrest John. They asked a few questions about yester-night and lodged my compliant.

I had stolen enough dope to satisfy my craving for 15 days and was determined to locate a new peddler within 15 days. But I could not visit the pubs (which are hub for the peddlers) as I kept meeting Shreyas after office everyday. He is an Air Force Officer posted at Delhi Cantonment. I thought that I can be with him for life, but wasn’t sure if it was infatuation or a real feeling. We gelled pretty well. He did not know that I had sufficient stock of dope that I stole from John’s place.

Shreyas kept asking me if I am still consuming drugs. and everytime a blunt no, came from my side! I thought that this will make him feel that I am a nice girll, no more into drugs. I did not want him to go. We spent quality time together, where he would talk about air force, planes and working for the nation. I spoke endless on world of documentary film making and about following my profession passionately.

When my stock exhausted, I did not know who to head for. After gathering lot of courage I called up Shreyas. Hey Shreyas, Jia this side! Well I need a favour.

Yup tell me, I am there for you service Madam! But before you start, it’s my off today, should we go for a long drive, isn’t the weather pleasant, Shreyas replied with his always cheerful accent.

Okay we can go for a long drive indeed, and its going to rain today. Hey can you arrange some dope please? Shreyas I am really in a bad shape. I am chocking and I just need some dope. Please!

Don’t do drugs Jia please and I knew that he was going to say it.

I got impatient and said, don’t tell me what I should do or not do; I am independent enough to decide what’s good for me and what’s not. You cannot arrange dope for me it’s alright. I can manage and will probably contact some of John’s friends, though I knew none of his friends. I just wanted to convince him. And I hung up on him.

Shreyas called back but I lay helpless, unconcerned to take his call or talk to him. I went on nostalgia of Akhil, I realized that I missed him whenever I was not under the affect of drugs and wonder he would come back to me. At the same time I hated him for his fake feelings. It started raining outside and I tried to blend my soul into the sound of water droplets hitting the roof, of the plastic shed at the balcony. I cried like a kid for some time, and could not hear anything except the sound caused by rain. I remembered the days when me and Akhil took long walks in rain, unfortunately that time cannot come back. I realized my door bell was ringing constantly. My intuition struck that it could be Akhil, it should be him, and no one else.

I open the door, a courier boy stood; he handed over two parcels to me and got his notebook signed. It was duplicate copy of my debit card and Akhil’s wedding invitation. I froze for sometime, all I could think of was suicide! I felt betrayed, helpless and consuming some 45 sleeping tablets.

I got up at hospital, and my family was around. Of course Shreyas took me here, he was standing at the back quietly looking at me, as if he knew everything that I went through. And my parents were scolding at the same time consoling me. They convinced me to attend a rehabilitation programme to get rid of the compulsive intoxication. Shreyas use to meet me everyday at the 6 week rehabilitation programme I attended. And I felt like a princess with him around.

I don’t know if I and Shreyas will be together. But I learned a lesson of moving on! Starting Akhil and the drug insignia; I learned that one has to move out of past grudges. Change is the only constant and life may not shape up as desired. Taking refuge in something dreaded can never help as it eats up the soul. Many people start doing drugs after being cheated in love. I now look forward to life and now I will be working on a documentary against drug abuse!

Do Comment!

The Unsaid Words

2009-04-23T05:33:00.000-07:00

My day at office was the same. I understand that 10 to 6 office was getting monotonous and was not my cup of tea. But destiny took me here! I badly want something to scoop me off this predictability of weekdays and weekends. So as ritual I am heading for a walk at the beach. It sets me free, the waves and sound convey life isn't that bad.

While crossing the traffic signal leading to the beach I encountered him. I don't know if I ever wanted to see him or not, but there he was, calling my name, and waving at me to stop. I looked back at him and said a cold ‘Hi’. The expressions on his face said that he left no stone unturned to find me. He said, 'I want to talk to you, can you spare sometime’. We never had a formal break-up. I suddenly went into hiding and all he could do was to flood my mailbox with apology notes, expecting that I will reply.

I met him some five years ago, at a bungee jumping expedition organized by my college. The trip came as a dose for my craving of Adventure sports. I just cannot resist the thrill and excitement that comes with adventure. I was a few hundred foot above the ground. My friends were scared, but I was not. Adventure and thrill is in my blood. I love the intoxication of unpredictability, of the speed and the height. I was ready for it, the instructor briefed about the safety equipments, the posture I am suppose to maintain while jumping off and while hanging like a pendulum in between the sky and earth.

The instructor directed, there you go, 1… 2…. and 3…and I jumped with open arms to embrace the air and release myself to an infinite view. It is like diving deep into the air, and I could not stop to utter a loud Wow! The view was exhilarating and I felt like a bird, freely hanging in between the infinite sky and a never ending valley. I kept screaming of joy and excitement. The swings were tickling and got me goosebumps. The ecstasy of hanging got me laughing non stop!

Suddenly the knob tied to me slacked. I realized I was hanging on one knob and the other one broke! Everything came to a still, the excitement disappeared and I was shivering with fear. The thrill of speed at which I jumped was slowing as everything around was unhurried. I lost my balance and felt like a bird with an injured wing.

I shouted loud in the air, 'pull me up, the knob is broken'. I kept repeating the words, without caring if anyone is listening, or asking something, may be the instructor made an attempt to calm me down. But I was unfazed, I just wanted them to pull me up fast. I was restless and kept swinging across. Surely my restlessness was hindrance in the rescue attempt, but I was not willing to listen. Pull me up fast, I shouted back and realized someone’s saying with an effective voice, 'calm down everything will be fine.' The moment I heard it, I knew I was alright. Everything will be fine and I was calm. Within a matter of seconds I was pulled up.

My friends came to comfort me, but that was not required as I was alright, I was just okay, nothing happened to me. I looked up and I saw him standing right there, his voice kept echoing as he asked to me, are you alright? And offered me some water. I am Dhruv, the organizer of this trip. I looked up and I felt like slapping him and giving him a good lecture on importance of safety at such trips, as I just went through it, I had all the reasons to debate that adventure trip organizers should not be ignorant about safety.

What if the other knob broke? - which did not happen

I could have fallen into the infinite valley! - but nothing of that sort happen, I was pulled up safely

However I was fuming with anger, and the people around could make that out that. He politely said, I understand you must be angry, but such accidents can happen anytime, we took every precaution to ensure that you are pulled up safely. We have all the security equipments at place. My reply was, Ok! Well I am fine. Thank you! A blunt reply from my side and he made a move.

Later I forgot about the incident, and cherished the pendulum swing that I had at the bungee. Few weeks passed on smoothly with a rocking college life, and I went to celebrate my birthday at Eatopia. I was with my best of friends. As decorum, the Chocó Truffle cake was not meant to be eaten, but to provide a skin gloom therapy to my face. I just hated it, but friends will be friends! You can’t get angry at them. I made a move to the loo to clean up my face, while my friends were digging into the rest of the cake. I opened the door of the restaurant to head to the loo and here he is again, that guy that jerk, the organizer of that oh so awesome bungee trip!

And he said hi!

I replied hi, his gaze kept me hooked to him, and he smiled to say, it seems today is your birthday! Well yes, was my prompt reply!

Hey I just forgot your name, I said.

He replied with his distinct voice, I am Dhruv. And I hope you are no more angry with me, and I am sure that you enjoyed that jump?

Nice meeting you Dhruv, I am Vidushi. Am not at all angry, I cherish that day!

Nice meeting you too and happy birthday Vidushi, he replied.

I said, I have to rush to the loo, will be back in a while, why don’t you join us here? He seems to be in a rush and said, will catch up some other day. We shared our numbers, and we went our ways.

The moment I reached to the loo, an sms came on knocking, it was Dhruv, wishing happy birthday, and his treat is due! I replied, thanks sure, just tell me when you can spare time for the treat. We planned to meet the next day.

He got a big bouquet of white roses and a Chocó Truffle cake. I could make out that he was genuinely sorry for something that I don’t blame him for. That was just an accident and could have happened to anyone. We did not head for any restaurant and preferred staying in his car. That was a beautiful day, and it became a daily affair. We use to meet everyday after my college and spend time that use to run really fast. He as an entrepreneur was not answerable to anyone and had a perfect life. Besides he had all the time for himself and of course me! Everything he did just showed how much he cared and wanted to be with me, and I too wanted him to be around.

I will be passing out of college this year and I will certainly go for some entrepreneurial venture. I have many business plans in mind and I am sure Dhruv will be around. It’s been more than two years that we have been together, as friends, but we were meant to be more than friends. I loved him and knew that he loves me too, but its just that none of us have the courage to say this.

It’s his birthday and we were celebrating. He was upto something and my intuition said that he is going to say those golden words. But he was not that happy as he always was,. I could make out that he was scared of me saying no,! but for what he knows that I like being with him. I feel protected and cared for when he is around. We celebrated his birthday and while our way back, he said to me that he wanted to talk about something. I knew what that was about, and he pulled over the car.

See Vidushi, its not that easy to explain, as we both have enough understanding of each others feelings (I thought that he would pop in those words but he was still sad). Vidushi I have to go from Delhi and I may not contact you ever. This is the last day of our meeting, and our story ends here. While my mind kept saying he is lieing, please tell me that you are joking Dhruv, I was shouting from a non-vocal frequency.

I was numb, and kept looking at him till I realized that he was not bluffing. Dhruv I can come along with you, my college will be over, and we can be together. Please don’t say that as I cannot live without you!

He got restless and was rude while he said, I cannot explain you the entire story, and I have a big time opportunity to work across globe. I will be traveling and will live like nomads may be throughout my life and I do not wish to carry a burden of a long distance relationship with me.

The word 'burden' came as a big pain and I did not care to listen to him. I just stepped out, with a tough face, hired an auto and left. He did not stop me; I changed my number and did every possible thing to forget him. I knew that I can never love again. As his thoughts kept bugging me I took up a job in Mumbai.

Now back to present, we are sitting at a coffee shop. He started the chat; I tried contacting you, and dropped in many mails. I just wanted to convey that I am sorry. I did not go anywhere, but just tried finding you.

I kept quite, avoiding his presence.

He went ahead with his long apology speech, which I did not want to entertain. But still it feels good to learn that someone who did not respect your feelings, called being together a burden, is finally apologising.

He said, I know I did not value both of ours feelings. For the past three years I have been trying to find you, contacted your friends, but no one knew about your whereabouts. I love you Vidushi, I should have said this long back, but, I now realize my fault and we can be together. I am sorry for not saying those unsaid words.

Dhruv's speech went on for hours, but nothing seemingly convinced me, I kept numb. The day was different today; I was getting a cold heart, and could not take more of apologies. My only words were, I have to leave now.

He said he will not go unless I give him an answer – which implicitly should be to forgive him. But an answer to grief and sorrow of years can’t come instantly!

I know he was confused with unclear philosophies of life. But life is just simple and clear. No one should live life as a fable of confusions and philosophical lock-ups. Admit when in love and take it as a beautiful chapter to sort out issues. Living is no rocket science, its a simple biological mechanism, everything else is confusion!

Please comment!